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Toothbrushes she’ll chew on. Candy she’ll eat. In my last apartment I had this big green painted sheet hanging on the wall of my boring little hallway. It was tacked up at the top in five or six places, and made a great toy for my felines. Sometimes they’d sit behind it, hiding between the cloth and the wall. You could see the lump, but they thought they were being pretty stealthy (they being the three felines…eight when one had kittens) The cats could actually see through the sheet from the other side (I tried it once) so they would sit and wait for a human to walk by. Bat, bat, bat. You’d walk through the hall and your feet would get patted, sometimes gently and sometimes not so gently. Ambush from below. Mog thought that it was great fun to climb the sheet and balance her way across the taut top. So, of course she taught the trick to her babies. As they grew older, they climbed higher, and many times I’d walk through the halls and find up to four kittens practically suspended in. Now all that remained were the terms of her surrender. "Sweetheart, is it ok if I just wear jeans and a sweatshirt?" Robert looked at his mother with exasperation. "Jesus, Mom! ... I told you — it's a date night! ... I swear half the time you don't pay attention to me when I'm talking to you. Absolutely not. Jeans and a sweatshirt are not acceptable. Go do your hair and makeup and put some effort into it for once. ... Then put on something nice for him." "W-what should I wear?" she asked meekly. "A dress or a skirt. Something short and tight would be good. With high heels and nylons, ok?"Beth was unnerved and bewildered, but she held her tongue and simply nodded her assent, leaving the room to do as he asked. Walking down the hall to her bedroom, she pondered whether there might yet be some way out of the dilemma, but she could sense her son was fixated on having her go through with this "date night" notion. The whole situation was surreal. It seemed only yesterday the two boys were.
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